BEHAVIORS THAT GET PEOPLE TO LIKE YOU By Asif Zaidi

While physical attributes are an important part of one’s personality, there is much more to people liking someone than meets the eye. A person’s liking others is based on many factors including their biological tendencies, unconscious desires, as well as their personal upbringing and background, but even that is not all. How you behave also has a lot to do with people liking you. There are behaviors that are instrumental in making people like others. The good thing is that these behaviors can be learnt and applied by you to make them a part of your persona. So go ahead and embed them in your life.

Be a good active listener

Your ability to listen is of paramount importance in making you appealing to people. When you fully listen to someone you make them feel important by conveying that what they are saying is meaningful and significant to you. When you bring your undiluted attention to someone, you foster trust and a deeper connection with them.

Instead of just listening, practice active listening. Active listening is when you listen with intent, purpose, and without any distractions or interruptions and fully engage to affirming and understanding what someone is expressing to you. Rephrase what has been expressed to you when you are crafting your response.

When you agree with someone, show it. People like it. If you nod your head, this small act influences others to perceive you more favorably. Following male and female volunteers watching simulations of people either nodding their head, shaking their head, or remaining still, researchers in Japan asked them to rate the simulated people’s attractiveness, likability, and approachability. They discovered that nodding increased approachability by an impressive 40 percent and likability by 30 percent. These results were consistent among both men and women. “Our study also demonstrated that nodding primarily increased likability attributable to personality traits, rather than to physical appearance,” Jun-ichiro Kawahara, one of the study’s researchers and an associate professor at Hokkaido University, said in a public release.

Pay attention to verbal and nonverbal signals

Another important behavior for you to adopt is to pay attention to verbal and nonverbal cues a person betrays during conversation and notice their body language. In other words, do not just practice active listening but also pay attention to how they are saying what they are saying.

See if someone is looking nervous, excited, unsure, confident, etc. Are they shouting or breathing heavily? Notice the gestures of their hands and arms. Once you go beyond words to relate to a person’s mood and intent it builds intimacy, empathy, and understanding between the two of you as you show that you want to completely comprehend what is being said.

Make eye contact

The knack of looking others in the eyes shows a certain self-assurance. It also enables you to establish a better connection with others. Ensure to make eye contact with those around you. Acknowledge them and look them in the eyes to show you care.

Be caring

Always act in a kind, giving, and considerate way. Being caring and genuinely concerned about the well-being of others draws people toward you because we like people who engage in altruistic behaviors. We all want to spend time with someone who is thoughtful and generous. A 2016 study published in Evolutionary Psychology established that being unselfish, empathetic, and acting altruistically are not only important and attractive behaviors, but this giving and caring nature also helps to enhance a person’s overall physical attractiveness levels.

Show empathy

Empathy begins with understanding other people’s situations, knowing their hurts and frustrations, and understanding that their emotions are as real as your own. This enables you to build perspective, inculcates a sense of gratitude in you, and opens you up to helping others.

Empathy helps us bond with others. Make an effort to understand the lives of people who are different from you. This will broaden your worldview and will make you accepting of differences. When we forge stronger connections with people we meet, our interest in them will likely beget their interest, and the relationships flourishes. Be there for your family and friends emotionally and financially by showing little gestures to help them in any way. Be sympathetic to their feelings. Understand where they are coming from. Learn to share the warmth of love and happiness and you will never be lonely in life.

Smile often

Smiling is not only one of the easiest and simplest behaviors that you can do; it is also one of the most powerful to get others to like you. The very act of smiling triggers the release of endorphins and serotonin in your body, which improves your mood and elevates those around you. Therefore, people can in fact feel a robust sense of pleasure and satisfaction around a person who is smiling.
Research by the School of Psychology at the University of Aberdeen, Scotland, found that people prefer and are more attracted to smiling faces that look directly at them as opposed to non-smiling faces that look directly at them. Another study from the School of Psychology at the University of Bern, Switzerland, revealed that a person’s level of likability is noticeably influenced by the magnitude of the smile on their face.

Laugh a lot

Laughter is a stronger dose of the same medicine as smile. It is one of the best ways to draw people toward you. To be fun and full of laughter is good for your mental and physical health and is also beneficial for others around you. When you laugh, you help to improve your circulation, oxygen intake, and overall mood while simultaneously reducing the stress levels of your body.
People are instinctively drawn to those who like to laugh and can make them laugh. Laughter makes them feel good, lowers their pain. Your laughter helps to forge a bond between you and those around you. There is no greater joy than laughing together.

Be reliable

Being trustworthy makes you likable. Nobody likes people who cannot be trusted. When people find you trustworthy, they are encouraged to be authentic around you and feel comfortable to open up and confide in you. It enables you to create deeper and more meaningful relationships with others

A study from the University of Pennsylvania showed that in respect of behaviors and qualities that people seek out in their friends and friendships, acting in a trustworthy, authentic, and truthful way is of utmost importance. Trustworthiness is rated equally highly in all types of human relationships – romantic, friendly, or business.

Be confident

Acting in a confident manner plays an important part to get people to like you. Research in the International Journal of Cosmetic Science noted that when individuals were feeling more confident, others rated them as appearing more physically attractive.

When someone is acting in an assured and self-confident way, we are likely to be drawn to this person and partake of the positive energy that they are projecting. Research from Washington State University found that behaving in a confident manner can be more influential and appealing to others than being right. There are a lot of self-improvement material and practices easily available that can help you learn to behave more confidently in your daily life.

Build self-awareness

Emblazoned near the entrance of the historical Greek Oracle at Delphi, “Know thyself” continues to be good counsel. To be self-aware you have to know yourself, since it entails understanding your own personality and character. Psychologist Daniel Goleman, the author of best-selling book Emotional Intelligence, defines self-awareness as “knowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources and intuitions.” Essentially, self-awareness includes all the things that help you answer the eternal question of “Who am I?” Being more self-aware makes us more likable because it improves our self-confidence and empowers us to clearly see our strengths and weaknesses.

Be punctual

Being punctual signifies not only your personal principles and priorities, but it also gives insight into the way that you view and treat others. When you are on time in your engagements, it shows that you respect people, that you value their time, and that you can make and keep commitments and promises. When you are meeting people, respecting time commitments is an easy way to show that you are thoughtful and respectful, and that you truly value them.

Punctuality also plays a significant role in the business world, as it not only exhibits your time management skills, but your people skills as well.

Be authentic

A lot of people put on false persona. When you do this, you create false relationships. Feel at ease to be yourself, always. Embrace your true self, no one expects you to be perfect. People can discern authenticity in others by attributes such as having truthful perceptions of reality, being accepting of themselves and of other people, being considerate, having an unoffending sense of humor, being comfortable to articulate their emotions easily and clearly, being receptive to learning from their mistakes, and cognizing their motivations. Those who are true to themselves are naturally more likable.

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness has numerous benefits. An abundance of psychological research shows that mindfulness can lower stress and anxiety, bolster your focus and memory, and even raise your relationship satisfaction. A mindful person is both aware of and considers their thoughts and feelings while in the moment and, therefore, can relate much better to those around.

Show courage

Branding expert and professor at the University of Southern California Jeetendr Sehdev sampled 10,000 men and women from all over the world to study which qualities made a person most attractive. The study discovered that a vast proportion of people — 75 percent, to be precise — regarded courage as even more significant than confidence.

Hence, it pays to integrate courage into your everyday life. For example, in respect of your career, when it comes to your career, according to Forbes, speaking up at a meeting, setting boundaries with coworkers, and being decisive are just a few ways to exercise courage.

Have a purpose in life

You will have a more robust self-esteem if you have a purpose to drive you every day. Always have a well-defined objective in life. Your self-esteem and belief will grow with every struggle that you overcome, every goal you accomplish. You will always be a person who inspires others and who people seek out for advice or like to help.

Be open to new experiences

Being open to experience is a likable trait. People who enjoy learning new things and are curious about the world come across as creative, intelligent, and imaginative. Be curious to explore different cultures, new places, and new activities. Show enthusiasm in the latest technology, how things work, acquiring a new skill.

Care to volunteer

Volunteering not only benefits your community, but it also helps your health and well-being. As part of a 2013 study, researchers surveyed men and women and asked them to rate the pull of people displaying a “helping” behavior and people showing another type of behavior. Those involved in helping behaviors — both men and women — were rated as significantly more attractive. The researchers theorized that helping behavior may signify “good genes.” They may also demonstrate a person’s potential as a parent.

Own a dog

Research suggests that a person can appear more appealing when they are out with a pet, as animals often draw people together. They offer an easy conversation topic and an icebreaker. When people interact well with their pets, it can make them appear more enticing.

Pet ownership can be beneficial to your physical and mental health in many ways, as it helps reduce stress and anxiety, lessen your blood pressure, and lower your risk of cardiovascular disease. The bond you have with your pet can assist you to radiate positivity and confidence and also when people interact favorably with your pet, they are also likely to develop an affinity for you.

 

 

 

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Asif Zaidi

Asif has authored four widely selling books -Happiness: A way of LifeThe Stuff of LifeSell to Excel, and Face Time. He also blogs at masrif.net . Subscribe and get Daily Life Tips from this Youtube Channel The Stuff Of Life

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